If you need me, I'll be by the queso.
Proficient:
Eating too fast, borrowing your HBO Go password, excessive handwashing, Tom Waits, checking Instagram, Arrested Development, talking about adopting a dog, making fun of your wedding hashtag.
Adequate:
Making eggs, asking you about what kind of rewards points you get from your credit card, college football, Neil Young, seeing movies alone, recreational sports things, remembering to get the clothes out of the dryer, Coen Brothers movies, responding to texts in a reasonable amount of time.
Needs work:
James Joyce, cooking things that aren't eggs, falling asleep, saying "I mean" too much in gchat conversations, ironing, understanding what a Nickel Defense is, beard maintenance, getting the fitted sheet on the bed.